Marriage

So I started this post back in October and never ended up finishing it. I still think it has thoughts worth pondering though so I'm going to post it even though I was hoping to flesh out some things more.

Okay, on to the post! So we had a Stake Conference which included a regional broadcast and it was wonderful!

But the one talk I wanted to share about here was given by our Stake Relief Society President in the Saturday evening session. It was on love and respect in marriage.

She shared a scripture in Ephesians 5:33:

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

I think this scripture can often get women up in arms about what reverencing husbands exactly means but our Stake RS Pres applied it as respect. She talked about how women have a need to be unconditionally loved and men have a need to be unconditionally respected. She pointed out how it was interesting that the scripture doesn't command women to love their husbands, that is a given, it is easy for us to love. But we do receive specific counsel about reverencing or respecting our husbands.

She talked about how many marital problems and division happen because the wife is feeling unloved and the husband is feeling disrespected and how both of those play off of each other. The wife feels unloved so she criticizes which causes the husband to feel disrespected and he distances himself thus continuing the cycle. She talked about how it is important to remember the unconditional part, even when the other spouse is not deserving of love or respect, it is still important to show it.

Anyways, I thought she offered some perspective on a scripture that I hadn't really considered. And I know when Ammon and I feel off in our marriage it pretty much always comes back to myself feeling unloved or Ammon feeling not respected. And I know that when I most need to feel loved is when I haven't been very lovable or in other words when I may not deserve love that is when I need love most.  I'm working on remembering this and making sure to be respectful of Ammon especially around Zeke. And most especially when I may not think he deserves it. I have found that my feelings of his just desserts usually have more to do with my hunger/tiredness level and not really anything to do with Ammon :)