Marriage

So I started this post back in October and never ended up finishing it. I still think it has thoughts worth pondering though so I'm going to post it even though I was hoping to flesh out some things more.

Okay, on to the post! So we had a Stake Conference which included a regional broadcast and it was wonderful!

But the one talk I wanted to share about here was given by our Stake Relief Society President in the Saturday evening session. It was on love and respect in marriage.

She shared a scripture in Ephesians 5:33:

"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

I think this scripture can often get women up in arms about what reverencing husbands exactly means but our Stake RS Pres applied it as respect. She talked about how women have a need to be unconditionally loved and men have a need to be unconditionally respected. She pointed out how it was interesting that the scripture doesn't command women to love their husbands, that is a given, it is easy for us to love. But we do receive specific counsel about reverencing or respecting our husbands.

She talked about how many marital problems and division happen because the wife is feeling unloved and the husband is feeling disrespected and how both of those play off of each other. The wife feels unloved so she criticizes which causes the husband to feel disrespected and he distances himself thus continuing the cycle. She talked about how it is important to remember the unconditional part, even when the other spouse is not deserving of love or respect, it is still important to show it.

Anyways, I thought she offered some perspective on a scripture that I hadn't really considered. And I know when Ammon and I feel off in our marriage it pretty much always comes back to myself feeling unloved or Ammon feeling not respected. And I know that when I most need to feel loved is when I haven't been very lovable or in other words when I may not deserve love that is when I need love most.  I'm working on remembering this and making sure to be respectful of Ammon especially around Zeke. And most especially when I may not think he deserves it. I have found that my feelings of his just desserts usually have more to do with my hunger/tiredness level and not really anything to do with Ammon :)

Ulcerative Colitis

Remember in college how we would tell Melissa, "I love your gut?" Well, that is because she had her colon removed due to a disease called ulcerative colitis. If you want to learn more about it, there is a great website called crohnsandcolitisinfo.com

Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. It's been a rough couple of months! When Camille was 6 weeks old, I started having painful, watery, explosive diarrhea. At first, I thought it was just a stomach bug, but after several days no one else was getting sick, and the diarrhea was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I kind of just kept waiting it out, but after 4 weeks, I finally went to my doctor and did blood work and stool tests. My doctor's first concern was that I had C-diff, which is an intestinal bacteria commonly picked up in healthcare settings. Since I had just been in the hospital to have my baby, this was a likely explanation. My stool tests were negative for C-diff, but positive for white blood cells and inflammation, which indicates some sort of infection. He decided to put me on flagyl, an antibiotic that kills C-diff. At this point, I was having a lot of blood in my stool, which was concerning me and decreasing my energy levels pretty rapidly. After 7 days of being on flagyl and seeing no improvement and getting worse, I saw a gastroenterologist who said, "I think you either have Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis." That week I had a colonoscopy and received the diagnosis.

Ulcerative colitis is a life long disease. It is characterized by inflammation in the large intestine and rectum. Many people respond to treatments and have periods of "remission." Various stresses, foods, etc. can cause someone to have "flare-ups." The tricky thing with this is that it affects every person differently. Some people have it so severely that their colon is removed (like Melissa), but others can function pretty normally with diet changes and medication.

Right now, I am on prednisone (a steroid medication) and apriso (an anti-inflammatory medication that works locally in the gut). They seem to be helping and I have been feeling better, just not completely back to normal. I have seen a lot of blessings throughout the whole process (like the fact that Camille is such a good sleeper), but also a lot of disappointments (like having to stop nursing Camille).

It stinks! Anyone with chronic health problems can vouch that it is just not any fun! You never know what life is going to bring. Life may seem to be going so well, and then something like this happens and it changes things! One thing that has helped me during this rough time has been to be mindful of the many blessings I do have. Easier said than done, but I think when we truly look for the good in our lives, then we will find it, even amidst very hard trials. I would love to hear your thoughts!