The other day Matt and I were both (for a variety of reasons) missing our life up in Seattle very much. After a good night's sleep we felt better, but I was chatting with my sister-in-law the next day and trying to process that experience of being so homesick.
I decided that our relocation is like when someone tries to take a food group out of their diet (like dairy, meat, gluten products, etc.). There are many "substitute" products out there, but none of them taste quite the same. A veggie burger is yummy, but it doesn't taste like beef. I think almond milk tastes pretty good, but it doesn't really taste like milk. So to avoid continual frustration, it's almost easier to just enjoy the foods in your new diet rather than try to replace each item that you miss from your old diet with a substitution that will never quite cut it.
So when we moved back to Utah, I made the mistake of trying to recreate everything we had up there. I signed kids up for the same types of activities, I tried to find doctors that were exactly the same style, etc. And I was continually frustrated. I was trying to chug the almond milk but taste dairy milk.
After a few weeks, I realized what was going on and instead have tried to make the most of what we have going on here instead of focusing on how it's not the same--because it will never be the same, and that's okay. I also think it's okay to miss where we came from, because that's a sign that we loved it there and met wonderful people.
Any tips/thoughts about relocating and how to make it feel more like home?
Oh man, Bethany, I feel like I'm going through the same thing! Moving is so hard and you miss your old life so much! It's not that you're not happy with the new place or anything, you just miss the way things were, your old friends, your old house, your old town. I am totally going through that now, especially now that it is fall and it just isn't the same here as back in PA!
ReplyDeleteI've found in my many moves over my life that it usually takes about a year to get into the swing of things. That's not to say you don't miss where you lived before (I haven't lived in TX for 13 years but I still get homesick for it) but you start to belong where you are now. For me the best way is to just jump in with both feet. Get involved in things that interest you. You're doing a great job getting involved at church and with your kids' school.
The other thing I've found that helps? Enduring. And remembering that if you moved back it wouldn't be just like it was before. That is sad but true. Good luck!
I like your example. I think definitely not comparing it to what was and celebrating what makes the new place unique. We love going on family adventures and exploring the different things that make the new location what it is. Kind of different for you and Katie since you are moving back to a place you grew up in but there are always new things to explore and discover!
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