Get In The Zone

I went skiing a handful of times as a child, then again with Nelson after we were married.  It was his first time skiing ever, and though it was really challenging for him that first day, he has gone from zero to hero in the past three years.  Downhill skiing is now one of his favorite hobbies.  This season, I have joined him skiing three times.  The first time, I felt super nervous and out of shape after having David, and it was very hard for me.  The second time, I was still nervous, but I did okay.  We were at a resort I was more comfortable with, and I slowly made it down the mountain each time.  The third time skiing this season, I had a great attitude.  I wasn’t dreading it—I was even looking forward to it—and I steadily improved each time down the mountain.  We progressed from the easiest runs to runs that were a little steeper and more technical.  Nelson asked if I wanted to go to the very top of the mountain to see the view, and he felt that he could guide me down the mountain.  I agreed, and we enjoyed the long lift ride together. . . until we neared the top and I got a huge pit in my stomach.  I have a mild fear of heights, and we were SO high, and I started to worry about how I would have to ski down from being so high. 

It was a beautiful view of the valley from the top of the mountain.

The lift stopped running right after we got off, as it was almost closing time.  Some snowboarders blew past me and I looked down—straight down—the first hill off the lift.  It was so steep.  Just having become more confident with my turns on less-steep terrain, this seemed absolutely impossible.  Nelson zipped down a little way, then had to wait probably 20 minutes while I got up the nerve to make it down the first part.  Then I saw the next slope.  After trying to bravely traverse for probably 100 yards, I couldn’t help but burst into tears.  I felt terrified and stuck and helpless and like a little kid.  A patrol person saw us near this point, and told us kindly that the mountain was closed, and we had to get down the quickest—and steepest—way.  To make a long story short, I had several more moments of frozen terror and tears, but I did make it down.  It was pretty awful and humbling and a very good learning experience for me.  I know that my skiing improved (we had to go down some more steep stuff to get to the parking lot and while I didn’t love it, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the big mountain and I did fine) but it was too much, too fast.

This brings me to something I have thought a lot about in teaching and motherhood and continuing education throughout our lives:

If you have ever taken a child development or psychology class, you’ve probably heard the term “Zone of Proximal Development.”   This theory, developed by psychologist Lev Vygotsky, is that there are things that a person can do without help, things they can do with help that will facilitate their growth and learning, and things they cannot do yet.  

  

Photo from Wikipedia

Vygotsky developed this theory during the last two years of his life, and it has been added upon by others since then.  One addition has been the terminology of “scaffolding.”  Scaffolding is the help given by a teacher or mentor in the Zone of Proximal Development that can be gradually removed until the learner can complete a task independently.

This simple idea has big implications.  It can change the way we help our children learn new things, and it can change the way we learn new things as adults.   Skiing on the big mountain with Nelson was not in my Zone of Proximal development- yet.  I felt frustrated and incompetent, which is how children feel when they are repeatedly pushed to do things out of their zone of proximal development.  They won’t want to keep trying because they have had too many experiences of failure and frustration. 

Alternately, we can’t let our children or ourselves stay in our comfort zone all the time or we won’t learn and progress.   I think our church callings can often be a Zone of Proximal Development for us, with others to scaffold for us and guide us along.  Sometimes, though, we just have to push ourselves outside of our comfort zone to keep progressing.

 My bishop’s wife is really amazing—probably the most spunky, energetic, yet humble go-getter I know.  She runs marathons, does bike races, hikes, etc. etc.  When someone commented on how awesome it is that she does so many different active things in her life, she said that she has to push herself to keep trying new things so that she can keep improving and learning.  I’m sure she enjoys being fit, but it’s more than that for her.   It’s also about improving as a person. 

The Zone of Proximal Development is different for every child.  That’s part of what makes being a teacher so difficult.  It’s a little easier for parents to gauge where the Zone is because we know our children well and spend so much time with them.   We don’t need to hover and be over-zealous or be involved in every second of every day with our children.   We simply need to utilize teaching moments.  Babies and children naturally push themselves toward greater independence, and we can further that independence by teaching them things in the Zone of Proximal Development that then become things they can do alone.  If your child can write the first letter in their name, maybe it’s time to teach them other words that start with that letter, or other letters in their name.  If your child is old enough to verbally respond when you talk to them, maybe they are ready to use the words, “please” and “thank you.”  If they can ride a bike with training wheels really well, maybe it’s time to take the training wheels off.  If they have mastered a simple puzzle, it might be time to get out a more difficult one to try with them.  If they understand or become bored with a simple lesson during Family Home Evening, we can give more detail or use scriptural language.  

The key is to HELP (a.k.a. scaffold) them so they feel confident and can eventually do the task without help. 

 For babies, we can help their motor skills (pinching, grabbing, rolling, reaching, crawling, walking), language skills (talk to them and let them talk back, make eye contact, play games), emotional skills (soothing, touching, loving).  Toddlers  and young kids can be working on social skills (manners, social cues, sharing), small motor skills (cutting, writing, drawing, coloring, finger painting), large motor skills (throwing, kicking, running, swinging, jumping, climbing, riding trikes and bikes), math skills (counting and recognizing numbers, shapes, puzzles, addition/subtraction/multiplication/division, building structures, reading maps, patterns), and reading skills (holding books and turning pages, recognizing letters and words, letter sounds, value of literacy).  We also want to help our kids develop an understanding of the gospel and testimony of Jesus Christ (we can read scriptures verbatim then explain what it means, teach correct prayer format and language, teach reverence and respect, teach about the Plan of Salvation and Atonement, etc.). Those are a few examples that come to mind of helping our child progress within their own Zone of Proximal Development.  

I plan on going back to Sundance ski resort, riding the lift to the top, and skiing down the whole mountain again someday; maybe even next season.  But first I need more time with scaffolding in my Zone of Proximal Development to gain confidence and skills to be able to do the runs that seemed to be scary-dark-black-diamond to me. 

Finally, sometimes we feel that we are pushed WAY out of our comfort zone in life with different challenges and trials—often things that we don’t initiate or are out of our control.  Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ can scaffold us, guide us, and lead us as we learn in our Zone of Proximal Development (even when it feels like something that we cannot do with help) until we can master the things which we are supposed to learn. 

“The things which are impossible to men are possible with God.”  -Luke 18:27