What things have you had to let
go of as you've pursued your idea of perfect motherhood?
How do you battle feelings of
inadequacies as a mom? In a Pinterest and blogger world I often feel like my
kids are having a less than stellar childhood because I do not do super
creative, fun activities with them all the time. I don't spend a whole lot
of time on Pinterest or blogs but the feelings of inadequacy can still bubble
up.
Something I have thought a lot about is how I cannot do everything--whether it be physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. I think every mother has to decide what things are important to her and do those things. For example, it is really important to me that my kids shower every night and get into bed at a decent time, so I am a stickler on that. On the other hand, as much as I would love to have a clean kitchen floor all the time, I have to be honest in saying that I will go weeks (gasp) without mopping my floor. It's just one of those things that isn't as high on the priority list for me. I will go into other peoples' homes and it is literally spotless, and that is one thing I have decided is just not that important to me. I would say my yard/flowers/bushes are more important to me, and so I spend a lot more time outside than I do cleaning inside.
ReplyDeleteIt is very easy to feel inadequate and that you aren't doing enough, but I have found I am happier when I decrease my own self-imposed pressures of what I need to do and just decide on what things are most important.
Have you guys ever heard of the concept "drops of awesome"? Every good thing you do for your kids, for your spouse, for yourself, etc is just a little drop of awesome. And you can fill up your bucket every day by the LITTLE things (not crafts, not creative projects, not making a gourmet dinner). Things like snuggling with your toddler, texting a love note to your spouse, calling up a friend who may need to talk, etc.
Can't wait to all get together next week! Love you!
1. I remind myself that my kids don't have Pinterest or Facebook, and I'm the best mother they've ever had so they'll not know anything different.
ReplyDelete2. Surround myself with supportive family and friends who go out of their way to remind me that I'm doing a good job.
3. I only go on Pinterest when I have a specific thing I need to save or look up. This is just a personal decision I made because I was finding myself feeling like a loser mom whenever I browsed Pinterest.
4. I try to do at least one thing each day that a child requests (like reading a book right when they bring it to me, going outside to watch their bike tricks, etc.).
For me the biggest thing is that I have really learned not to care what others think of me. Occasionally I will still feel a little unease when I realize someone is being critical of me. There was one time I was sick, and hadn't cleaned anything in literally like 3 days, so there were dishes everywhere. (really it was gross) And my sister in law came over with her mother in law and her sister in law to borrow something. And the mother and sister in law were looking around with this disgusted look on their face. Very clearly they thought I was kind of a loser. I was a little hurt, and I tried to explain that I was sick. But I have realized that who cares what they think. I don't really like them anyway, and they have no idea what is going on in my life. As long as I know that I am doing my best, and realize that my best will include some mishaps and failures, who cares what anyone else thinks of me. Ultimately all that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us, and if we are trying, then He thinks we are wonderful. Like Bethany, I don't browse Pintrest at all. I don't have an Instagram account. All I have is Facebook, and I don't spend much time on it. I look through my newsfeed, and then leave it be. And I remember that the people whose opinions I do care about aren't judging me. They actually think I'm pretty wonderful!
ReplyDeleteMy kids don't have a super mom who does crafts, and activities, and is always happy. But my mom taught me over the years that that is just fine. I love my kids, and they know it, and that is good enough for me.
There's a really great article in the July Ensign on Perfectionism. I can't remember what is called exactly and the July Ensign isn't up yet online so you'll just have to look because I'm currently to lazy to do that. Anyways, read it! I kept thinking about this Q&A while reading it.
ReplyDelete